Moving too Fast

3/07/2022

 

In January, after narrowly escaping what had been a very long and arduous 2021, I found myself excited to move forward. I had a new job at the local animal shelter and the people there were fantastic to me. I had set the goal of surviving for the last year and had ended it that way. Maybe I should have set the bar higher. 

With the usual snow and other wintery precipitation that regularly falls along the coast of Maine, came a another setback. I fell and got a concussion. Now, my football loving son has had multiple concussions (some that I knew about and some that I didn't), but this was a whole new thing to me. One minute I was upright and walking between the cars, and the next my husband was yelling at me to wake up. It seems I had been out of it for about 3-4 minutes. Hubby, who was on the other side of the vehicles, turned to talk to me and when I didn't respond and he didn't see me he thought I had gone back into the house. I was only when he walked around his truck that he saw me laying there with head against the side of the car. I think I took years off his life. 

I did eventually come to, but it was a struggle. Hubby called the ambulance and they were on their way. My daughter-in-law to be came and covered me up since I was in the snow. All of these things were going around me, but inside my head was the strangest imagery. To be fair, I remember the moment of impact and felt the pain. My mind recognized that the pain was too much and it was then that I went out. While out I was presented with the image of an old timey printer connection to the printer. Back in the old days you had to clip both sides to hold the connection in place. I saw both pieces separate and was told by some unseen being that I was being rebooted. 

Now, I don't know if those were my words or just who was speaking to me. I only know that after that a parade of beautiful colored artwork ran before my eyes. They were images that I'd never seen before, at least that I could remember and each of them were full and vibrant and beautiful. Even when I came to and could finally talk again I had only to close my eyes to see these pictures. They stayed with me for about a day and a half. Each image was bound to the next and they ran along like an old fashioned projector film. 

By the time the ambulance arrived I was talking and after getting me out of the snow and into the house they checked me out and asked me the usual questions, to which I got them all. Satisfied that I was going to be okay, they left and told me to call if I needed transport to the hospital. I spent 5 day not looking at the computer screen or watching tv. I did listen to podcasts because... well, I would have gone nuts with no stimulation. And now, other than a few pesky lasting things I have made it through the rough patch and consider myself mended. 

But the whole experience was an intriguing example of just how easy it is to disconnect from this life. A mere moment in time and I could have stayed floating wherever I was. I'm glad I'm back, but it has left me with a great many questions and, of course, a better respect for just the small things in life. I wish it hadn't taken this to make it happen, but I'm not sorry it did. 

I always worry that certain things in my life will take away my ability to write, but the reality is that I wasn't doing anything with that ability, so shame on me. The moments are too fleeting. Embrace them. Revere them. Let them teach you what they are supposed to teach you. After all, it's what we are here for. 

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